Taco Bell Fight!
by The 3 ladies
Summary: What happens when Duo goes to Taco Bell and is told to have his money ready, doesn’t and is denied his order? Beat the heck out of Taco Guy until you get your order. R&R –Lady Blink


Disclaimer: I do not own Taco Bell or Gundam Wing but I do feel affection for both greatly!  
  
To Mom! Who first asked, 'What are they going to do if I don't have my money out when I get to the window?!'. Well here it is. R&R!  
  
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*The drive though of a Taco Bell. We see a red, brand new, 2003.van. Duo Maxwell is getting dinner for the rest of the pilots. *  
  
Duo: *To speaker box. * I'd like 10 soft tacos, 7 bean burritos, 13 hard shell tacos, 5 pepperoni pizzas, and 6 taco supremes please.  
  
Taco Guy: Drinks?  
  
Duo: 2 Dr. Peppers, 1Coke, 1 Diet Coke, and 1 Root Beer. Please.  
  
Taco Guy: Okay. So that's 5 soft tacos, 10 bean burritos, 26 hard shell tacos, 9 pepperoni pizzas, 2 taco supremes, 3 Orange cokes, 1 Dr. Pepper, and 3 Root Beers?  
  
Duo: What? No! 10 soft tacos, 7 bean burritos, 13 hard shell tacos, 5 pepperoni pizzas, 6 taco supremes, 2 Dr. Pepper, 1Coke, 1 Diet Coke, and 1 Root Beer. Please.  
  
Taco Guy: Okay.  
  
Duo: Do you have that?  
  
Taco Guy: Of course. $17.98 at the window. Please have your money READY!  
  
Duo: I'll have my money when I have it you s*** head.  
  
*Duo pulls up to window. A red haired teen boy about 16 walks up. *  
  
Taco Guy: Sir, where is your money? We asked for you to have your money ready.  
  
Duo: Sorry. *Reaches into back pocket and pulls out a $20. * Here you go.  
  
Taco Guy: I'm sorry sir. We asked for you to be ready and you are not. We cannot serve you. Please be ready next time.  
  
Duo: WHAT??!! YOU LITTLE BASTARD!! GIVE ME MY FOOD GODDAMMIT!!  
  
Taco Guy: Ahhh! *Starts to shut window. *  
  
Duo: DON'T SHUT THAT LITTLE WINDOW ON ME PUNK!!  
  
*Duo jumps into the window. Half of his body is in the window and his legs are in the car. He grabs onto the Taco Guy and starts punching him. *  
  
Taco Guy: AHHHHH! I'M TELLING THE MANGER!! AHHHHH!!  
  
*Duo starts to choke the boy. Taco Guy thinks fast and grabs hot sauce. *  
  
Taco Guy: Medium, Mild or HOT?!!! *Squirts Duo in the eyes with the hot sauce. *  
  
Duo: AHHHHH!! SON OF A BITCH!!!!  
  
*Duo tackles Taco Guy onto the ground and starts to strangle him with the microphone cord. *  
  
Duo: WHERE'S MY FOOD?!!  
  
Taco Guy: UP YOUR MOM'S ASS!  
  
Duo: I WANT THE TRUTH GODDAMIT!! *Punches Taco Guy in the nose. *  
  
Taco Guy: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!  
  
Duo: BASTARD!!!!! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
*At this point all that we see is dust. We see fists, legs, a Taco Bell hat, a braid, and a burrito at times. *  
  
Taco Guy: I GIVE!  
  
Duo: *Panting. * Really?  
  
Taco Guy: *Out of breath too. * Really. *Hands over three bags and five drinks. * Have a good day sir. Come back next time.  
  
Duo: Thanks. *Takes food and starts to climb back through window. *  
  
Taco Guy: Have your money ready next time!  
  
Duo: AH! BASTARD!!!!!! *Drops food and tackles Taco Guy over the order counter. *  
  
Taco Guy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
*Duo pulls the Taco Guy up and bashes his head into the cash register over and over again. Taco Guy pulls Duo back over the counter and puts him under the big soda dispenser. Taco Guy starts to push different buttons while Duo starts to drown. *  
  
Taco Guy: Was that Root Beer *Pushes Root Beer button. * or Coke-a-Cola? *Pushes button. *  
  
Duo: Wah-ajt-ajflj!  
  
Taco Guy: *Stops. * What?  
  
Duo: Wait! The coke is too watery.  
  
Taco Guy: Oh thanks man! I'll have to fix that! *Pushes Dr. Pepper button. *  
  
Duo: MY EYES!!!!!!!!  
  
Taco Guy: Oops. *Pause. * Are you all right?  
  
Duo: Of course! *Pushes Taco Guy into cash register and starts to beat his head against it again. Cash register opens. * Oh. That'll be $69.00!  
  
Taco Guy: STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! I GIVE UP. FOR REAL!!  
  
Duo: No smart comments?  
  
Taco Guy: No. Go to your car sir and I'll get your order.  
  
Duo: Okay.  
  
*Duo goes into his car and listens to Blink-182. *  
  
Duo: *Singing. * Bitch has got four toes!  
  
Taco Guy: Uh sir?  
  
Duo: *Stops singing. * Oh sorry. *Grabs food and drinks and gives money to Taco Guy.*  
  
Taco Guy: Here's your change. One dollar and fifty cents.  
  
Duo: *Taking money. * Thanks. Hey, that was a hell of a fight you put up.  
  
Taco Guy: Thanks. You're a great fighter.  
  
Duo: Thanks. Bye.  
  
*Duo drives half way down the drive through and stops to check order. He finds: 5 soft tacos, 10 bean burritos, 26 hard shell tacos, 9 pepperoni pizzas, 2 taco supremes, 3 Orange cokes, 1 Dr. Pepper, and 3 Root Beers. *  
  
Duo: THAT BASTARD!!!!! *Reverses car back up to the window. *  
  
Taco Guy: OH CRAP!!! *Starts to shut window. *  
  
*Duo leaps into the window and starts to beat the crap out of Taco Guy. *  
  
Duo: I JUST WANT THE RIGHT ORDER!! WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME THE RIGHT ORDER???!!!  
  
Taco Guy: BECAUSE YOU'RE A @^$^%&%&%&%^#%$#%$#%#%#!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Duo: *Shocked. * How dare you! YOU'RE SOUL WILL BE MINE!!!  
  
*The two beat the crap out of each other. Duo is sitting on top of Taco Guy, holding his collar and punching him in the face. Duo stops suddenly. *  
  
Duo: YOU STUPID MOTHER F***ER!!! YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG CHANGE!!! IT'S $2.02!! NOT $1.50!!! YOU MORON!!!  
  
*Duo, so full of rage about wrong orders and change, drags Taco Guy over to the microwave and starts to bash his head with the door. All of sudden there is an earsplitting snap sound. Taco Guy's arms have stopped waving around. *  
  
Duo: Oh s**t. That didn't sound good. *Opens door and looks in. Closes it quickly. * Crap. Broken neck and busted head. I'm in trouble.  
  
*Queen Peacecraft walks in. *  
  
Relena: I'd like a soft taco please. *Throws a buck down. *  
  
*Duo panics because Taco Guy's body is right in front of her and his blood is slowly seeping out onto the blue tile. Duo grabs a burrito and shoves lettuce, tomatoes, and etc. in it and scoops Taco Guy's brain's into the burrito. He hands the taco to Relena. She walks to the door and stops. She takes a bite. Funny face. Relena turns around. *  
  
Relena: This meat is a little pink. Like it hasn't been cooked. It's delicious. Thanks. *She leaves. *  
  
Duo: Well. There's only one thing to do. *Walks over to phone that's by the window. * Go to McDonalds! *Jumps in car and leaves. *  
  
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Hope the ending wasn't lame. I thought this was pretty funny but what do you think? Please review! -Lady Blink 


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